Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Ode to Dogs


If you don't love dogs, I can't love you. Sorry. It's just the way it has to be. I can forgive your horrible music and stupid ideas about society but damn, if you can't get with the sublime joy of dogs, you should get to steppin'. 'Cause Papa ain't gonna have none of that. Ain't that right, Pinball?
PB: Woof!
EG: Who's a good puppy? Whoooooo's a good puppy?!
PB: Woof!
EG: That's right - uh oh!
(Pinball sits up, looks around, muffles a 'woof')
EG: Who is it? Who is it Pinball?
(Pinball runs to the window and barks)
EG: That's right. Get'em Pinball!
(Ed opens to the door and Pinball rushes out. Fade as Pinball jumps on the mailman, eats the mail, steals the truck, etc)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Three Way in the Parking Lot

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Look at'em. All lined up like pretty little maids. So boxy and strong. I thought I was checkin' in to some 2012 higher power when my friend Jason hipped me to this site.

Auto Buds
Welcome to Auto Buds. The place for auto buds. Auto Buds are two cars of the same make, model, color, or as identical as possible, that are parked right next to each other or in close proximity


When the aliens uncover the archives, they're gonna be confused about how we spent our time here on earth.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Robert Heinlein

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

- Robert Heinlein

Monday, January 2, 2012

The Happy New Year Motivational Rock Chunk

This is the time of year a lot of people get to reflecting. "Am I heading in the right direction?" "Am I doing all I can?" "Can I do things better next year?" A lot of people also ask "Is Paul Gilbert just another mindless shredder from the eighties?" "Wasn't Paul Gilbert in Mr. Big?" "Is there a nice Paul Gilbert ballad-y type of a song with a sweet guitar solo that I can listen to with my lady?" Well, the answers to those questions are
"I have no idea."
"No."
"Yes"
"No!"
"Yes. And you love "Green Tinted Sixties Mind."
"Absolutely!"

So, here's a little something to help you ease into 2012 with a smile on your face. Remember, screenplays don't get bought. Screenplays are SOLD. Now get out there!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012 Day One!

2012: Day One: Fried Chicken in the park with a pretty girl. One party, one return of a borrowed item and one good workout. Plus...oh, I already mentioned the chicken. Alright, 2012, that's enough for one day. No notes, just stay focused. And don't get cocky! By January 15, 2011 was insufferable. #TimeIsAHumanConstruct #DoesntReallyExist ##LikeTheStockMarketandPaperMoney? #YouKeepQuietMr.DoubleHash! ##But I #WhatDidIJustSay ##(grumblegrumble)