Sunday, December 25, 2011

I guess somebody couldn't wait for the rest of us. Well congratulations, Uni, you've ruined Christmas.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Road to Christmas

Well, not really. I mean, I'm flying home for Christmas. And what a treat that is gonna be. Due to some, how does one say, "cash flow issues", my flight plan dumps me in Chicago at midnight and doesn't pick me up until six am the next day. So, being the diligent planner that I'm usually not, I broke my habit of winging it and decided to see if there was any information of sleeping in O'hare international. Of course, I found this:

So, we're gonna give this a shot and plan like a real traveler. It should be interesting.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Read while you still can

I resist the urge to believe doomsday scenarios. They're seductive and they feed our need to worry about shit we can't stop. But I can't help feeling like a citizen looking at a storm cloud rolling in and saying "I know this has happened to people just like me before. And I know it can happen again. I just hope we're all making a big deal about nothing." And it makes me sick that there seems to be blue prints for these things. And we all read them in high school. I think some of use saw these books as literature, examples of the human experience gone wrong. But I think some of us read them as handbooks, possible ways to accomplish certain goals. But hey, I have nothing to hide, so I have nothing to fear.


Animal Farm
Fahrenheit 451
The True Believer

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Methamphelivison - Breaking Bad: Season 2

Yes, I know I'm late to this but I just finished season two. I was so addicted, I didn't really post about it. Or eat. Or...anything, really.

The last :30 seconds of season two - are you kidding me? If you aren't hip to The Bad, you need to get there. My head's on the floor.

This is the opening of season one. It doesn't really let up from there.

I know why I love this show so much. It's television meth. What meth does to your body, Breaking Bad does to your brain. The elements shouldn't work (isn't that the guy from Malcom in the Middle?) but they do and when you take it all in and see the evil genius of it's a little sickening. Telemeth. Methamphelivison.

Anyway, after each episode I fall back and consider my "troubles" and thank God I'm not Walter White.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas and The Eagles

I can't stop looking at this picture. This is the Eagles in 1978. At the height if their popularity. Burnt out. Drowning in the trappings of their own success. Reflecting the decadent path America was stumbling down. They always struck me as a band that could never be happy. Unpleasable. Cynical. Like a woman who's figured out her man's a dud but is too weak to change anything.
Separate beds.
A cold peck on the cheek in front of company.
A little more wine with dinner.
That's the Eagles.

Their songs have an undercurrent of mean melancholia that's at the same time irresistible and depressing. Like a bad ex-girlfriend who somehow knows you're home for the summer and calls at 10:45 on Friday night wondering what you're up to. The folks are asleep and you're old enough to make your own decisions. And you know where that quiet drive in the dark is gonna lead. But life is hard, school is lonely, and maybe it'll be different this time. So you do. And it isn't. And the harsh sunlight of Saturday awakens you to remind you that not only will you have to explain to your parents that no, apparently you can't do any better right now and that two semesters of college have not matured you in any way, but that you've reset the clock on how long it's been since you slipped into that dark, luke-warm pool of easy love and self-loathing. Like a sign in the backroom keeping track of how many days it's been since the last on-the-job injury, your count goes back to zero. And all there is to do is cut grass in the relentless summer heat, eat frozen pizzas, and fear the cool quiet of the encroaching evening. Because you know, eventually, inevitably, that phone is gonna ring again.

To me, that's the Eagles.

Friday, December 9, 2011

We Return to Serial Killers with The Stuff

Saturday night! Sacred Fools in LA! This one is about Angus Armbruster, a man-child looking to take the next step toward adulthood. The answer? A bit of the Knob.

It'll all make sense tomorrow night.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Oversaturated Fuzz Box Distortion Yuletide Bang Bang #7

This is a band called Bowling for Soup. Mr. Gilbert sits in to lend some much appreciated holiday soloing. What can I say? Paul Gilbert is Christmas.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Christmas Cure to All That Bluesy Talk About The Doo Doo Going On All Over The Place #6

Oh yes, here it is. The tune to melt your candy cane right into your stocking.You remember Toto? Yeah, that band you think might be Chicago or a car ad you heard. Well, as usual, we find that those old bands actually had real life musicians. What! I know. Shocking. But listen to this guy. Nuts, I say. Come solo time, Mr. Toto-was-20-years-ago shreds the left channel but WAIT! Who's that in the right channel? Is that Eddie Van Halen?

Yes Virginia, there is a Shreddy Clause.

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Not Really Country So Jump Off My Candy Cane Blamo #5

My musical tastes really expand somewhere around December third. All sorts of things get in there. Country. Pop. Gospel. Punk. Then, on Christmas day, somewhere between the fifth "Thank you. What the fuck is it?" and "We're out of vodka" my musical taste sphincter tightens right back up. Hooray! I just passed another Christmas.

This one is Dolly and Kenny doing what they do best and man is it nice. If this doesn't make you smile then you can count yourself out of Christmas next year. You're not just a Grinch, you're a loser. Yeah! Suck it, teenagers!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Broken Hip Skat Jive Santa Whap #4

Christmas is a crazy cool time of year and who better to remind us than Brian Setzer. What I love about this is the sound is old school but them licks OH THEM LICKS! Makes you want to gulp down that malt, punch a bully, and throw your girl around. McFly style!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Santa's Fat Christmas Blunt Holiday Jam Bang #3:

You thought it was gonna be wall to wall guitars, didn't you? Well, it would be if I didn't become addicted to this insane sticky jam from way back. And I don't think you people understand. I'm hard! I'm from the street! I sell drugs! This is Christmas, y'all!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Six String Christastrophe Tree Shaving #2

You remember Journey, right? Open Arms? Wheel in the Sky? Your Uncle drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon and gets all nostalgic about prom and that girl that isn't your aunt? Well, F that in the ornament. This is Neal Schon and his insane, tasty licks. He was the one your not aunt ran off with. Tell your uncle to suck it!

Also, you can skip the video watching part. If I wanted candles and sticks, I'd still be a witch, yo!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Christmas Rock Bomb #1

Christmas! And I'm re-ripping off Michael Holmes's great Halloween idea to post a song a day only this time it's Christmas! Today we find Mr. Steve Vai rocking a classic, wrapping it up and slipping it under the tree like a shred terrorist in a crowded K-Mart.
"What did you get Timmy?"
"I just got my ass handed to me by Captain Remarkable and his insane guitar!"

The first time I saw Mr. Vai live he played this tune. It was a musical dream come true. He understood! He got me! It was if he was playing my favorite Vince Lombardi tune just for me. Steve! Steve! I'm here! I'm here for you! I drove all the way to Omaha the Ranch Bowl just to see you, man!