Sunday, December 25, 2011

I guess somebody couldn't wait for the rest of us. Well congratulations, Uni, you've ruined Christmas.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Road to Christmas

Well, not really. I mean, I'm flying home for Christmas. And what a treat that is gonna be. Due to some, how does one say, "cash flow issues", my flight plan dumps me in Chicago at midnight and doesn't pick me up until six am the next day. So, being the diligent planner that I'm usually not, I broke my habit of winging it and decided to see if there was any information of sleeping in O'hare international. Of course, I found this:

So, we're gonna give this a shot and plan like a real traveler. It should be interesting.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Read while you still can

I resist the urge to believe doomsday scenarios. They're seductive and they feed our need to worry about shit we can't stop. But I can't help feeling like a citizen looking at a storm cloud rolling in and saying "I know this has happened to people just like me before. And I know it can happen again. I just hope we're all making a big deal about nothing." And it makes me sick that there seems to be blue prints for these things. And we all read them in high school. I think some of use saw these books as literature, examples of the human experience gone wrong. But I think some of us read them as handbooks, possible ways to accomplish certain goals. But hey, I have nothing to hide, so I have nothing to fear.


Animal Farm
Fahrenheit 451
The True Believer

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Methamphelivison - Breaking Bad: Season 2

Yes, I know I'm late to this but I just finished season two. I was so addicted, I didn't really post about it. Or eat. Or...anything, really.

The last :30 seconds of season two - are you kidding me? If you aren't hip to The Bad, you need to get there. My head's on the floor.

This is the opening of season one. It doesn't really let up from there.

I know why I love this show so much. It's television meth. What meth does to your body, Breaking Bad does to your brain. The elements shouldn't work (isn't that the guy from Malcom in the Middle?) but they do and when you take it all in and see the evil genius of it's a little sickening. Telemeth. Methamphelivison.

Anyway, after each episode I fall back and consider my "troubles" and thank God I'm not Walter White.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas and The Eagles

I can't stop looking at this picture. This is the Eagles in 1978. At the height if their popularity. Burnt out. Drowning in the trappings of their own success. Reflecting the decadent path America was stumbling down. They always struck me as a band that could never be happy. Unpleasable. Cynical. Like a woman who's figured out her man's a dud but is too weak to change anything.
Separate beds.
A cold peck on the cheek in front of company.
A little more wine with dinner.
That's the Eagles.

Their songs have an undercurrent of mean melancholia that's at the same time irresistible and depressing. Like a bad ex-girlfriend who somehow knows you're home for the summer and calls at 10:45 on Friday night wondering what you're up to. The folks are asleep and you're old enough to make your own decisions. And you know where that quiet drive in the dark is gonna lead. But life is hard, school is lonely, and maybe it'll be different this time. So you do. And it isn't. And the harsh sunlight of Saturday awakens you to remind you that not only will you have to explain to your parents that no, apparently you can't do any better right now and that two semesters of college have not matured you in any way, but that you've reset the clock on how long it's been since you slipped into that dark, luke-warm pool of easy love and self-loathing. Like a sign in the backroom keeping track of how many days it's been since the last on-the-job injury, your count goes back to zero. And all there is to do is cut grass in the relentless summer heat, eat frozen pizzas, and fear the cool quiet of the encroaching evening. Because you know, eventually, inevitably, that phone is gonna ring again.

To me, that's the Eagles.

Friday, December 9, 2011

We Return to Serial Killers with The Stuff

Saturday night! Sacred Fools in LA! This one is about Angus Armbruster, a man-child looking to take the next step toward adulthood. The answer? A bit of the Knob.

It'll all make sense tomorrow night.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Oversaturated Fuzz Box Distortion Yuletide Bang Bang #7

This is a band called Bowling for Soup. Mr. Gilbert sits in to lend some much appreciated holiday soloing. What can I say? Paul Gilbert is Christmas.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Christmas Cure to All That Bluesy Talk About The Doo Doo Going On All Over The Place #6

Oh yes, here it is. The tune to melt your candy cane right into your stocking.You remember Toto? Yeah, that band you think might be Chicago or a car ad you heard. Well, as usual, we find that those old bands actually had real life musicians. What! I know. Shocking. But listen to this guy. Nuts, I say. Come solo time, Mr. Toto-was-20-years-ago shreds the left channel but WAIT! Who's that in the right channel? Is that Eddie Van Halen?

Yes Virginia, there is a Shreddy Clause.

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Not Really Country So Jump Off My Candy Cane Blamo #5

My musical tastes really expand somewhere around December third. All sorts of things get in there. Country. Pop. Gospel. Punk. Then, on Christmas day, somewhere between the fifth "Thank you. What the fuck is it?" and "We're out of vodka" my musical taste sphincter tightens right back up. Hooray! I just passed another Christmas.

This one is Dolly and Kenny doing what they do best and man is it nice. If this doesn't make you smile then you can count yourself out of Christmas next year. You're not just a Grinch, you're a loser. Yeah! Suck it, teenagers!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Broken Hip Skat Jive Santa Whap #4

Christmas is a crazy cool time of year and who better to remind us than Brian Setzer. What I love about this is the sound is old school but them licks OH THEM LICKS! Makes you want to gulp down that malt, punch a bully, and throw your girl around. McFly style!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Santa's Fat Christmas Blunt Holiday Jam Bang #3:

You thought it was gonna be wall to wall guitars, didn't you? Well, it would be if I didn't become addicted to this insane sticky jam from way back. And I don't think you people understand. I'm hard! I'm from the street! I sell drugs! This is Christmas, y'all!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Six String Christastrophe Tree Shaving #2

You remember Journey, right? Open Arms? Wheel in the Sky? Your Uncle drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon and gets all nostalgic about prom and that girl that isn't your aunt? Well, F that in the ornament. This is Neal Schon and his insane, tasty licks. He was the one your not aunt ran off with. Tell your uncle to suck it!

Also, you can skip the video watching part. If I wanted candles and sticks, I'd still be a witch, yo!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Christmas Rock Bomb #1

Christmas! And I'm re-ripping off Michael Holmes's great Halloween idea to post a song a day only this time it's Christmas! Today we find Mr. Steve Vai rocking a classic, wrapping it up and slipping it under the tree like a shred terrorist in a crowded K-Mart.
"What did you get Timmy?"
"I just got my ass handed to me by Captain Remarkable and his insane guitar!"

The first time I saw Mr. Vai live he played this tune. It was a musical dream come true. He understood! He got me! It was if he was playing my favorite Vince Lombardi tune just for me. Steve! Steve! I'm here! I'm here for you! I drove all the way to Omaha the Ranch Bowl just to see you, man!


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Mr.Vai on Success

Get that mind blown by the master of determination, vision and execution. It ain't just about fast fingers, y'all.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Absolute Power (8): Unforgiven II

1997. William Goldman wrote the screenplay so you know you're off to a good start. Eastwood directing doesn't hurt one bit. Throw in Gene Hackman and Ed Harris and you can go ahead and start popping the corn, son. I am IN!

I tell you what, Hackman vs. Eastwood is one of my favorite Hollywood match ups. They just work so well as powerful villain and reluctant savior. And Ed Harris as the one-step-behind cop is great. It really does have a lot in common with Unforgiven. It all starts with a woman getting real abused by a man. Eastwood isn't interested in it at first but comes to realize he's the man for the job. And Laura Linney is the daughter who has had it with her criminal father and tests him in ways the primary challenge can't. It's practically Unforgiven: The DC Story.

We also have the moment where it all becomes personal for Eastwood's character and he kicks into "take'em down" mode. Add some tasty bits from Scott Glen, Judy Davis and Dennis Haysbert as the somewhat competent cover up team and you've got yourself a slow cooker that yields tender, dramatic meat that's great on a piece of toast.

But let's be honest. You had me at Hackman vs. Eastwood.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ed Watches Every All the Movies (EWATM)

Every time I move, I'm surprised by the various caches of things I have. Boxes get reopened after six months and suddenly I've got 20 books I'd forgotten about. Or some guitar strings I packed away. Or a baby brother.
BB: I'm not a baby anymore. I'm twelve.

So, in the vein of "do everything all the time" I'm going to watch every movie in the house. I'll get reaquainted with some old favorites. I'll discover some things I haven't seen yet. And I'll put this kid to work overhauling the Volvo.
BB: You can't keep me here. There are laws, you know.

Indeed there are, son. Indeed there are.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Fresh New Look For the Same Old Crap

Hey everyone (and I do mean "one". Hi Brian!)

Upon my return from yet another East Coast Adventure, I realized I'd completely neglected the Gravy. Not a post, not a picture, not even a comment on a comment. I must confess, I was too busy fooling with Facebook. I know! I know and you're right. I'm a fool and a whore. Lured by the ease with which I could upload pictures and then make a silly comment right there in the middle of it. I was seduced. Of course, I had to play by Facebook's rules which meant to get the right effect I would have to go in at night and redo everything (Getting a bold on Facebook means going to an outside website that messes up the formatting. And don't even talk to me about italics).

But I'm on to Facebook now. I know what it's good for. Like a slutty girl at a scummy bar, FB and I hooked up for some quick and dirty uploading. A snarky comment here, a picture or two there, the whole thing was over in a matter of minutes.

I'll not neglect the real online presence anymore. My true love. Though her name has changed and she's been around the domain address book a few times, she's still my Gravytrain.

I'm back, Baby. And it's just in time. October's coming...

Thursday, September 1, 2011


A twinge of Fall slips into the air, like a sliver of ice left in a glass of summer lemonade. We feel it as we take the sweater (just in case). We sense it when the animals start stowing their toys in the closet and under the couch. We know it because...we remember what Fall brings. The change. The Autumn. And...the evil...

Monday, July 18, 2011

My First Post from Work

Hey, this is my first post from work. I got Grooveshark, Netflix, Pandora, YouTube, and Itunes rolling. It's like Ozzyfest in here!